new episode #3 below (following the reposts of episode 1 and 2)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
episode 1
having followed the path of the fool unto the highest heavenths our
hero, dhyana jones, almost falls off the same precipice that our
beloved fool fell off. fortunately our hero was able to grab on to a
tree branch sticking out the side of the cliff- saving him from the
fool’s fate. now hanging there, dhyana jones began to call for help
even as the little cliff tree began to get uprooted. help help help,
cried dhyana jones.
as luck would have it, a left hand brother was also there by the
cliff’s edge. here, he said, i will help you. but when the black
magician tried to grab one of dhyana jones’ hands, he began to get
pulled over the edge too. this isn’t working, he said. i have another
idea.
just hurry up, dhyana jones said, the tree is on its last roots!
then the black magician began to unzip his pants. What in the hell are
you doing?, asked dhyana jones.
here grab on to my penis said the black magician. you will find that
all my sex magic practice has made my penis longer than even my arms.
this way i can hold on to some grass with my hands and you can then
hold on to my penis, then you can climb up.
sure enough, the sex magician’s penis was indeed longer than his arms.
dhyana jones could not believe the situation he had found himself in.
you are a sick bastard if you think i am going to grab on to your dick.
i would rather fall down this abyss.
look, said the black magician, there is no pride here. you are going to
die. life is worth more than pride.
no, said dhyana jones, life without pride is efil. and with that the
little cliff tree let go its last root and dhyana jones was sent
falling down the abyss.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
episode 2:
while indhyana jones was falling he noticed that there was a bird’s
nest in the little tree he was holding on to. Also he noticed that
there were some eggs in them. Oh no, he thought to himself, my holding
on to the tree for my life has doomed the life of these eggs. Indhyana
Jones resolved to place the nest on his belly and land flat on his back
in the hope that his body would absorb the shock of the landing while
the padding of his belly would save the eggs. He began to pray.
Sandalphon, Sandalphon, archangel of the ground, make my landing soft
and without sound. Just as he finished his prayer Indhyana Jones looked
up and saw that a winged angel was flying above him and was getting
closer to him. Oh blessed be, cried Indhyana jones, the angel
sandalphon has heard my prayers and is coming to save me and the eggs.
But as the angel got closer he realized that it was not a winged angel
but rather it was a giant eagle. The eagle said, grab on to the nest
tightly, and i will pull you up by your shoulders. It was the parent of
the eggs. Sure enough, the eagle was strong enough to carry Indhyana
Jones’ weight. He held fast to the nest making sure no eggs would fall.
The eagle descended to the ground and safety. Jones thanked the eagle
and gave the eagle the nest with the eggs. The eagle flew off with a
goodbye squawk
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The eagle left Indhyana Jones in the desert all alone without food and
water. No wonder no one likes eagles.
A long time had passed and now death by dehydration and starvation were
looking like possibilities.
"Water….wwwwaaaaaaattttteeeeeeeerrrrr…..wwwwwwwaaater. This is my
last gasp. Oh Death, thou unwelcomed fiend, wouldst thou let me die of
death instead of thou killing me thyself? Am i to die like a beggar?
Would you not give me the hero’s death? Thou art more cruel than a
ghoul". (More time passed).
"Waaaaaaaaaattteeerrrrrrrr……waaaaatttttteeeeeerrrrr"
"Alas, this is my last. I’ve no more suffering to live. Now to death my
soul i doth give. (Falls) "Oh my God, i am coming home." (Just then a
scorpion comes around)
Scorpion: Ah, Jones, i have come to take thee to thy true master—The
Devil. Now you are weak, even a little scorpion bug can take thy life.
You will be my catch for the day.
(Indhyana Jones suddenly leaps up and snatches the scorpion by its
tail)
Jones: Aha, i have tricked you scorpion. You thought you could kill me
when i was about to die. But now you see the lie. I shall dry thee in
the hot sun, then put thee in a bag. You will make an excellent meal".
(More time passes).
"Waaaatttttteeeeeerrrrrr……waaaaattttttteeeeeerrrrrrrr……waaaatttttttteeeeeerrrrr..
..well, my readers, this is my last gasp….I am done….i will die and
dry in the hot sun…….I expire….my soul to the higher…..may it
not fall to the fire….." (He falls)
(Just then a snake comes around)
Snake: Aha, Jones, you are weak, even a belly crawler can now bite
you. You will make a nice prize for today" (The snake tries to bite
Dhyana Jones but Jones suddenly jumps up and grabs the snakes head and
bashes him on some rocks).
Jones: You snake will make a fine meal. I will dry you in the hot sun
and then put you in my fool’s bag.
(Then once again, JOnes is complaining about dying and falls to the
ground. This tempts vultures to come down to eat his carcass but once
again, Jones snaps up and grabs the vultures, kills them, and puts them
in his bag for a meal).
(Jones then wanders aimlessly throughout the desert seeking water, when
he comes upon a black puddle)
The water of life. Should i drink it and make a pact with the devil? I
fear death more than i fear the wrath of my god. I shall drink of the
devil’s mystic blood and go to hell tomorrow—however today i shall
live on still.
(Just then the dragon called the devil comes around—Ah Indhyana Jones
is weak and delirious and is going to drink my holy blood—now he will
learn the shadow of the gods!!!)
(Jones takes a drink and at that, the Dragon appears to him and says,
"Now your soul is mine Indhyana Jones, you have drunk my blood". Then
unexpectedly, Jones spits out the water "No Devil, I did not swallow
the water. I never touch that black water. I would rather drink crude
oil than your snotty blood."
dragon: NO, jones, do not kill me. I am sorry i tried to drink up your
soul. I was tempted by your weakness.
Jones: Don’t worry dragon. I have not come to kill you. I have come
to offer you food. Look in my bag
(Jones opens bag to show the scorpions, the snakes, and the
vultures—a fine meal for dragons)
dragon: Nice Jones, you have come to give me a gift. I thought i would
eat 1 soul today—instead i get to eat a whole bag full.
Jones: But you must do something for me. YOu must fly my up the
mountain of our Lord, Mt. Insinai and take me to the abyss.
(The dragon agrees and flies Jones up the mountain on his back and in
trade Jones gives the dragon some scorpions to eat)
dragon: okay jones, you’re here. What else would you like me to do?
Jones: If you sit here near this abyss for a few minutes, i will give
you the whole bag of food (gives dragon a snake to eat). I’ll be right
back (He returns with a guitar and gives dragon the whole bag to eat).
dragon: if you were planning to have me fly you across the abyss, you
have made an error, I am too full and fat now to get across, and if you
stuff me in the abyss for a bridge, i will get out before you get back
and you will be lost in the fool’s mountain forever.
Jones: No dragon, i tried that yesterday. Today i have another plan.
(Starts to play guitar) Now listen to this song….
Em Bm
I’m a poor old hero. I’ve won the world and got back zero.
Am
I’ve no time for fun and games
D
I’ve no time for penance and shame
Work work work
is all i do
drowning in tears, the ocean of blue
(The dragon holds back a tear and sniffles)
My girlfriend left me
My dog left me
My cat slept to death
(dragon can no longer hold his tears and begins crying)
dragon: boohoohoo, stop it Jones. Don’t make a dragon cry…
I broke my crown
my car broke down
i lost my home for not being able to pay the bills
this happened in winter now i have the chills
(dragon begins to gush out tears uncontrollably)
When girls agree to go out with me for a date
all they want is a free dinner
then they are revitalized and can resist my amorous advances
(dragon is crying uncontrollably)
I lost my job,
but i wasn’t even working
and I can’t remember where i put my drugs!
(dragon weeping an ocean of tears)
No one likes me cause i won’t get that 666 tattoo
girls don’t kiss me cause i tell them i don’t want AIDS
there’s no flag in my soul
there’s no idol in my soul
I don’t worship babies
i don’t worship my car
i don’t worship sports athletes
I am aesthete
i am psychaesthenic
I don’t worship God
I don’t worship sex
I don’t worship worshipping
Even the outcasts reject me
(with that the dragon starts crying infinitely and eternally)
Jones stops playing and pats the dragon on the back. It’s okay dragon.
That was just a song. It’s over now.
After a few minutes the dragon stops crying.
Look, says jones, the entire abyss is filled with your tears. I can now
cross it on a small raft. Thank you dragon, for being a most courteous
dinner guest. (The dragon flies off—-thanks for the food).
And with that Jones crossed the abyss (where he finally remembered he
left his drugs)—and was able to come back too.
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
whyzard wrote:
> new episode #3 below (following the reposts of episode 1 and 2)
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> episode 1
> having followed the path of the fool unto the highest heavenths our
> hero, dhyana jones, almost falls off the same precipice that our
> beloved fool fell off. fortunately our hero was able to grab on to a
> tree branch sticking out the side of the cliff- saving him from the
> fool’s fate. now hanging there, dhyana jones began to call for help
> even as the little cliff tree began to get uprooted. help help help,
> cried dhyana jones.
> as luck would have it, a left hand brother was also there by the
> cliff’s edge. here, he said, i will help you. but when the black
> magician tried to grab one of dhyana jones’ hands, he began to get
> pulled over the edge too. this isn’t working, he said. i have another
> idea.
> just hurry up, dhyana jones said, the tree is on its last roots!
> then the black magician began to unzip his pants. What in the hell are
> you doing?, asked dhyana jones.
> here grab on to my penis said the black magician. you will find that
> all my sex magic practice has made my penis longer than even my arms.
> this way i can hold on to some grass with my hands and you can then
> hold on to my penis, then you can climb up.
> sure enough, the sex magician’s penis was indeed longer than his arms.
> dhyana jones could not believe the situation he had found himself in.
> you are a sick bastard if you think i am going to grab on to your dick.
> i would rather fall down this abyss.
> look, said the black magician, there is no pride here. you are going to
> die. life is worth more than pride.
> no, said dhyana jones, life without pride is efil. and with that the
> little cliff tree let go its last root and dhyana jones was sent
> falling down the abyss.
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> episode 2:
> while indhyana jones was falling he noticed that there was a bird’s
> nest in the little tree he was holding on to. Also he noticed that
> there were some eggs in them. Oh no, he thought to himself, my holding
> on to the tree for my life has doomed the life of these eggs. Indhyana
> Jones resolved to place the nest on his belly and land flat on his back
> in the hope that his body would absorb the shock of the landing while
> the padding of his belly would save the eggs. He began to pray.
> Sandalphon, Sandalphon, archangel of the ground, make my landing soft
> and without sound. Just as he finished his prayer Indhyana Jones looked
> up and saw that a winged angel was flying above him and was getting
> closer to him. Oh blessed be, cried Indhyana jones, the angel
> sandalphon has heard my prayers and is coming to save me and the eggs.
> But as the angel got closer he realized that it was not a winged angel
> but rather it was a giant eagle. The eagle said, grab on to the nest
> tightly, and i will pull you up by your shoulders. It was the parent of
> the eggs. Sure enough, the eagle was strong enough to carry Indhyana
> Jones’ weight. He held fast to the nest making sure no eggs would fall.
> The eagle descended to the ground and safety. Jones thanked the eagle
> and gave the eagle the nest with the eggs. The eagle flew off with a
> goodbye squawk
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Episode 3
> The eagle left Indhyana Jones in the desert all alone without food and
> water. No wonder no one likes eagles.
> A long time had passed and now death by dehydration and starvation were
> looking like possibilities.
> "Water….wwwwaaaaaaattttteeeeeeeerrrrr…..wwwwwwwaaater. This is my
> last gasp. Oh Death, thou unwelcomed fiend, wouldst thou let me die of
> death instead of thou killing me thyself? Am i to die like a beggar?
> Would you not give me the hero’s death? Thou art more cruel than a
> ghoul". (More time passed).
> "Waaaaaaaaaattteeerrrrrrrr……waaaaatttttteeeeeerrrrr"
> "Alas, this is my last. I’ve no more suffering to live. Now to death my
> soul i doth give. (Falls) "Oh my God, i am coming home." (Just then a
> scorpion comes around)
> Scorpion: Ah, Jones, i have come to take thee to thy true master—The
> Devil. Now you are weak, even a little scorpion bug can take thy life.
> You will be my catch for the day.
> (Indhyana Jones suddenly leaps up and snatches the scorpion by its
> tail)
> Jones: Aha, i have tricked you scorpion. You thought you could kill me
> when i was about to die. But now you see the lie. I shall dry thee in
> the hot sun, then put thee in a bag. You will make an excellent meal".
> (More time passes).
> "Waaaatttttteeeeeerrrrrr……waaaaattttttteeeeeerrrrrrrr……waaaatttttttteeeeeerrrrr..
> ..well, my readers, this is my last gasp….I am done….i will die and
> dry in the hot sun…….I expire….my soul to the higher…..may it
> not fall to the fire….." (He falls)
> (Just then a snake comes around)
> Snake: Aha, Jones, you are weak, even a belly crawler can now bite
> you. You will make a nice prize for today" (The snake tries to bite
> Dhyana Jones but Jones suddenly jumps up and grabs the snakes head and
> bashes him on some rocks).
> Jones: You snake will make a fine meal. I will dry you in the hot sun
> and then put you in my fool’s bag.
> (Then once again, JOnes is complaining about dying and falls to the
> ground. This tempts vultures to come down to eat his carcass but once
> again, Jones snaps up and grabs the vultures, kills them, and puts them
> in his bag for a meal).
> (Jones then wanders aimlessly throughout the desert seeking water, when
> he comes upon a black puddle)
> The water of life. Should i drink it and make a pact with the devil? I
> fear death more than i fear the wrath of my god. I shall drink of the
> devil’s mystic blood and go to hell tomorrow—however today i shall
> live on still.
> (Just then the dragon called the devil comes around—Ah Indhyana Jones
> is weak and delirious and is going to drink my holy blood—now he will
> learn the shadow of the gods!!!)
> (Jones takes a drink and at that, the Dragon appears to him and says,
> "Now your soul is mine Indhyana Jones, you have drunk my blood". Then
> unexpectedly, Jones spits out the water "No Devil, I did not swallow
> the water. I never touch that black water. I would rather drink crude
> oil than your snotty blood."
> dragon: NO, jones, do not kill me. I am sorry i tried to drink up your
> soul. I was tempted by your weakness.
> Jones: Don’t worry dragon. I have not come to kill you. I have come
> to offer you food. Look in my bag
> (Jones opens bag to show the scorpions, the snakes, and the
> vultures—a fine meal for dragons)
> dragon: Nice Jones, you have come to give me a gift. I thought i would
> eat 1 soul today—instead i get to eat a whole bag full.
> Jones: But you must do something for me. YOu must fly my up the
> mountain of our Lord, Mt. Insinai and take me to the abyss.
> (The dragon agrees and flies Jones up the mountain on his back and in
> trade Jones gives the dragon some scorpions to eat)
> dragon: okay jones, you’re here. What else would you like me to do?
> Jones: If you sit here near this abyss for a few minutes, i will give
> you the whole bag of food (gives dragon a snake to eat). I’ll be right
> back (He returns with a guitar and gives dragon the whole bag to eat).
> dragon: if you were planning to have me fly you across the abyss, you
> have made an error, I am too full and fat now to get across, and if you
> stuff me in the abyss for a bridge, i will get out before you get back
> and you will be lost in the fool’s mountain forever.
> Jones: No dragon, i tried that yesterday. Today i have another plan.
> (Starts to play guitar) Now listen to this song….
> Em Bm
> I’m a poor old hero. I’ve won the world and got back zero.
> Am
> I’ve no time for fun and games
> D
> I’ve no time for penance and shame
> Work work work
> is all i do
> drowning in tears, the ocean of blue
> (The dragon holds back a tear and sniffles)
> My girlfriend left me
> My dog left me
> My cat slept to death
> (dragon can no longer hold his tears and begins crying)
> dragon: boohoohoo, stop it Jones. Don’t make a dragon cry…
> I broke my crown
> my car broke down
> i lost my home for not being able to pay the bills
> this happened in winter now i have the chills
> (dragon begins to gush out tears uncontrollably)
> When girls agree to go out with me for a date
> all they want is a free dinner
> then they are revitalized and can resist my amorous advances
> (dragon is crying uncontrollably)
> I lost my job,
> but i wasn’t even working
> and I can’t remember where i put my drugs!
> (dragon weeping an ocean of tears)
> No one likes me cause i won’t get that 666 tattoo
> girls don’t kiss me cause i tell them i don’t want AIDS
> there’s no flag in my soul
> there’s no idol in my soul
> I don’t worship babies
> i don’t worship my car
> i don’t worship sports athletes
> I am aesthete
> i am psychaesthenic
> I don’t worship God
> I don’t worship sex
> I don’t worship worshipping
> Even the outcasts reject me
> (with that the dragon starts crying infinitely and eternally)
> Jones stops playing and pats the dragon on the back. It’s okay dragon.
> That was just a song. It’s over now.
> After a few minutes the dragon stops crying.
> Look, says jones, the entire abyss is filled with your tears. I can now
> cross it on a small raft. Thank you dragon, for being a most courteous
> dinner guest. (The dragon flies off—-thanks for the food).
> And with that Jones crossed the abyss (where he finally remembered he
> left his drugs)—and was able to come back too.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Episode 4
I have no idea what goes on up here. It’s just a fictional story about
places i’ve never been. So i propose that Jones meets other characters
that
…
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